Oh Barbados men….you make me laugh. And tear my hair out in frustration. And then laugh as I watch you try to be all macho and smarter than everyone else.
Today I hopped on a reggae bus up to Speightstown. Of course, I am the only woman on the bus. I get several Joey Tribbiani “How you doin?” looks. When the bus arrives at the terminal, I make my big mistake of the day: I ask for directions.
(Ladies, I am going to impart a VERY important lesson here: NEVER appear lost and helpless in Barbados. Just don’t. )
The bus driver, his assistant and some random guy all offer to help me. Random Guy informs me that he is going to the Digicel store to top up his phone and he can take me right there. As we walk, we get talking. As you do, in an effort to appear friendly and polite. I ask him if he thinks LIME or Digicel is better and he replies, “I’m with LIME but Digicel is better.” Um….aren’t you on your way to the Digicel store to top up your phone?! Turns out, he has no idea where it is and has to ask three people for directions.
As we’re walking, Random Guy asks me no less than 6 times what I’m doing later and can he be my tour guide for the day. I tell him each and every time that I don’t think my boyfriend would approve. “Oh that’s ok,” he says, “your boyfriend will never know and I just want to be friends”.
I just can’t shake him and he follows me into the dollar store (well, the Three Dollar Store) and then back to bus terminal. At this point I have decided to bus all the way to Holetown because I do not want this guy knowing where I am staying. On the ride back, he offers to come to my place and do a strip dance for me, make me dinner, rub my feet, etc, etc.
Just before the bus pulls out of the terminal, Shamar (that’s his name) says to me, “I’m broke. Can you buy me a beer and pay for my bus fare?”
Um…how about no?