For the past week, I have allowed myself to wallow; in grief, sadness, guilt, loneliness. I’ve been telling myself it’s because I’m back on my anti-depressant and my body is adjusting to it. And while that’s partly the truth, the whole truth is that I have just wanted to slip away unnoticed, and not have to worry about anything ever again.
It’s all about Baby Steps
However, Grandma would kick my ass if she knew that’s what I was thinking. So today, I gave my own ass a kick. And I have decided that today is the day I return to the land of the living. In the spirit of taking baby steps, I have made a couple of phone calls this morning. The first was to the bereavement counsellor at the Hospice where Grandma spent her last days. The second was to my career counsellor at ONTrac, to get some information about a Job Fair they are hosting this week. It sounds like a good mix of employers will be there, and all of them are hiring. So, hopefully, I will get one of those jobs.
I know that things won’t be easy over the next few months. I know I will have days where I will want to curl up into a ball and cry. There will be days where I feel like I’m not doing enough. And that’s ok. Because as long as I keep taking those baby steps forward, I know that I will get through this in one piece.