I’m not sure how to start this blog post. I’m pretty sure there are people who will read it and think, “yeah, sure. You wish.” And I will admit, years ago, I probably would have thought that way too. But since the deaths of my parents and beloved Grandma, I have had the pleasure of experiencing encounters with them. Not ghosts really, more like reminders that they are still looking out for me.
Dad will appear when I’ve made an incredibly difficult decision and his appearance affirms that I’ve made the right choice. Dad’s appearances are always while I’m awake. I’ll see him in the grocery store, or sitting on a bench, or on a bus. He never speaks, but he always smiles and winks at me. Mom’s appearances are more subtle. She only ever appears in my dreams, and only very briefly. Like she’s making a cameo appearance in a movie. She’s never the subject of my dreams. I think she’s just walking in to check up on me.
As the 6 month mark of Grandma’s death approaches, I find myself struggling. Struggling with not having her here, and struggling with where I am in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I don’t think I’ve ever had a job that was so perfect for me as this one is. And I love my apartment. But I am struggling with being in Arnprior. It’s a cute little town, and it has everything I need, but I feel trapped. I feel stuck. It’s not like I can hop on a bus and go visit people. Getting to Ottawa is an expensive, logistical nightmare. And so I feel cut off from my family and friends.
Last weekend, in an effort to try and find some peace and quiet my frantic mind, I decided to go sit on the beach here at Galilee. It was incredibly calming, with my bare feet in the sand, the waves on the shore, and the wind in my hair.
Just as I was getting my shoes on to leave the beach, the wind stopped blowing, and I felt the sensation of a hand running across my shoulders, from right to left. I looked quickly and of course there was nobody there. However, next to my left hand, was a beautiful, smooth, white pebble that I know wasn’t there when I first sat down. I felt warm, and comforted, as if I had just been hugged. I knew it was a visit from Grandma. The pebble a small, physical reminder that me being in Arnprior is just a stepping stone in my journey.
To some, I know this may all sound silly. But for me, these encounters are soothing and they bring me peace and comfort. I love knowing that my family is still looking out for me.